Not great care, but at least "very good".

Angie W. found a handful of signs like this one in the radiology department of a hospital in Toledo, OH.

I personally suspect that this is part of a brainwashing campaign, so that when you get the customer satisfaction survey later on, and they ask, "Did you receive VERY GOOD CARE?" you find yourself saying, "hmm, that sounds so familiar. That must be the right answer!"

you can fly!

Sara found this in Maui . . . the message is, "please don't feed the dolphins", but Sara wonders about the somewhat otherworldly quality of the stick figure in the photo--"Why is he floating in the air?"


Ah, perhaps they are trying to warn you that, if you DO attempt to feed the dolphins, you will be summarily plucked up by an even larger and scarier mammal?

(to me he looks like he is being pinched by the shoulder and forcibly removed.)

Thanks for the great sign, Sara!

well, can it? huh, huh?! can it?!

Eric M. found this fabulous specimen (that is surely worthy of the grammar police on so many levels!) in his apartment building. He wondered why they left out the question mark.


There is so much else wrong with this sign that I don't even know where to send it first!

On prohibitions, ambiguous

Andrea R. is excited about the fun that will surely ensue when we take this sign's directions at face value.

Although carts are most certainly NOT toys, the management really DOES want you to treat them as such. Maybe that's why they are encouraging riders to remain seated?

Thanks, Andrea!

lots of gems here

But the best was "the one that got away" . . . Janessa T. spotted this sign in Spokane, WA but regrets not having been able to get a picture of her receipt, where she was charged for "calm chowder".


I like the claim that the soups (though they're not committing in terms of WHICH soup they're talking about, apparently--although I HOPE it's the Cheddar Cauliflower!) are "Healty!"

Also of note are the sincere and heartfelt sorrow over the demise of their chicken sandwich, as well as their continual reassurance that, should you want it HOT, they can make it hot!

as long as it's not chicken . . . (TRY TURKEY!!!)

sure, and they said smoking wasn't harmful, either

I definitely agree with Clarissa that this one really belongs on this website, but I'll post it here anyway.

more strange things out of Vancouver

another gem from Suzie . . .

maybe THIS is what goes on between 10 and 11pm?

it's getting more and more exclusive around here . . .

Jim D found this at a local pet-supply store.

I wonder if it needs to be a one-year lease or if they'll accept pets with a six-month lease?

(yeah, I realize I'm not THAT funny. if you can come up with a funnier punchline, you're welcome to go at it!)

we will not speak of that hour.

Suzie is wondering what goes on here between 10 and 11pm?

well, it IS Pittsburgh, after all . . .

Matthew H. wonders about this sign-- "I dunno, I always was taught that only stop signs were octagon shaped . . . "


I don't know either, Matthew . . . but I've learned not to mess with you Pittsburgh types!

sorry, I've been a bit negligent

but I'm BAAACCK . . . wah, wah, excuses, excuses, surgery, blah blah blah.

anyway, let's get started with another pee sign--this one's from Andrew W, who I'm sure is wondering, as I am, if they mean "not ever", "not anywhere", or simply, "not right here, please!"?

how to tell you're too dumb to get out of bed in the morning.

Yes, it's true. If you stick your hand into a burning flame, it is likely to be, well, HOT.


I suspect this one came from Andrew W, but if I'm mistaken, please let me know!

pork butts and other delicacies

Rachel saw this at her local Kroger, and said, "I thought it was a bit crass for a national grocery store chain."

I personally am not sure what to make of this; I do have fond memories of my grandma serving "boston butt", but (oops, I mean, HOWEVER) I have so much trouble buying meat today because I never see signs for the meats that match the names Grandma used . . .

and while we're on "gross meats", I have to give a shout-out to Miss Heather for this wonderful contribution. Yum, yum!

It's my-y way or the high-y-way?!

Suzie, who has recently come up with her own brilliant idea for a blog, sent in this fabulous sign from Brampton, Ontario.

Sadly, Suzie reports that the sign was corrected after about a month, but we're happy to record it here for posterity . . .

Thanks, Suzie!!!

nothing makes me happier

than a new "ho-made" sign!

A special thanks to Nicholas R, who says, "My family and I are inclined to believe that Bea must have an army of hoes in the back of her store making products, sweatshop style."

Ho, the inhumanity . . .

maybe it's just me

Andrew W found this at The Angry Inch (a bar?) in Washington, D.C.
Hmm . . . not only do I not quite "get it", but I am not even sure I want to know!

Since I was just in NYC . . .

I thought I would share this "homemade car alarm" that Clarissa sent me a while back.

I heart New York! Thanks, Clarissa!

need a painter? army veteran? umbrella?

All this for $12? Wow. That's a bargain.

Thanks to Andrew W, who also has no idea what this guy is trying to say!

intil when?

Yes, this is me being lazy post-vacation--but here's another good one that someone else found . . . that's all you'll get intil I can get back to posting my own!

Thanks, Walter P!

now THAT'S appetizing

yes, I've been delinquent as of late. I was in NYC over the weekend, trying to eavesdrop on as many conversations as I could and capturing misuse of quotation marks . . . yeesh. you'd think I'd worry about my OWN blog, huh?

anyway, Mike passed on this gem to me--an ad for a large, heated . . . well, you'll just have to go there and find out!!!

thanks, Mike . . . and don't worry. I didn't want to eat dinner tonight anyway . . .

Free Range Children

I am losing my grip . . . not on the free range children, mind you, but on remembering who might have sent this my way. I have been through all of my e-mails, and can't locate it.

If you identify yourself, I will be happy to credit you. This one is so fabulous that, had I not lost the contributor's name, I wouldn't have needed to say a single word about it . . .

Quality indeed!

Karen B spotted this wonderful, "quality" item. I like the pride of ownership evidenced by the employee's willingness to sign his or her initials! (in what appears to be blue highlighter, no less!)

the joy of plumbing, part two: in the bathroom?!

John E found this in the men's room at the University of Central Florida. Apparently, there had been a "questionably edible item" found in the sink the week before.



I also enjoy the utter lack of punctuation . . . it adds a nice touch.

Thanks, John!

the joy of plumbing, part one: you're so flippin' needy!

Since Blogger was giving me a hard time, and then life was giving me a hard time, I've been bad about posting this week. I hope you'll forgive the delay, as well as the fact that I need to back-date some of these posts because my little OCD self prefers to have a date listed for each entry.

We seem to have a bit of a plumbing theme going on, however.

Maresi found this one, and says, "apparently, handles get lonely sometimes, too".

High-maintenance, yes, but at least polite.

and isn't it spelled "nuke-u-lar"?!

Rachel T found this sign (from the Hard Rock Cafe in London) to be amusing, although I think it's one of the restaurant's "copyrighted phrases", and as such, was probably more effective before they opened 2,856 locations . . . but I'm probably just a cynical ex-New Yorker.
(In high school, my favorite thing to do was to go into the Hard Rock Cafe, point at the "god wall", and yell, "LOOK! IT'S MADONNA!")

HOWEVER, if someone can get me the picture from the Minnesota Children's Museum of the sign that says something to the effect of "don't bring your gun into the children's museum", THAT would be fabulous.

Seriously, I don't mean to be snarky, so THANKS, Rachel!

so funny that I almost don't believe it's real

This took me a while to "get", but once I did (I confess: I needed to read the commentary underneath), I found it to be about the funniest thing I have seen in quite some time.

My co-workers are threatening to write this on my birthday cake!

YOU! NOW!

Spotted by Jennifer O. in Taos, New Mexico . . . this just seems like "caveman speak" to me . . . "TRY! ARE! NEW!"

Blogger is being a poopy-head

so I haven't been able to post any of my pictures in the past few days. (everything I try to upload shows up as an amorphous square blob. wait. can a blob be square?) I have some great pictures that some of you have sent in, but until I figure out this odd mystery (and I'm too lazy/sleepy to search for the info tonight), it will have to wait.

Happily, a photo I took recently has appeared on the blog of one of my blogging heroines/predecessors, so head on over there while I work on these "technical difficulties" that we have been having.

Choices, choices

Karen B found this at an arcade in Myrtle Beach, SC. She was really impressed at the "choices" offered.


Is it just me, or does this picture remind you a lot of our next presidential election?! a bunch of identical, stuffed, googly-eyed folks to choose from . . .

a sure sign that grandma's leaving you out of the will . . .

Okay, this was found by Karen B, NOT slipped into my treat sack by a sadistic relative. (although . . . have you met my relatives?!)


Karen is wondering if the April 31st expiration date means that it's good forever, or if we should go running in the other direction because their quality control is just as bad INSIDE of the can.

there's gotta be a story behind this one

Tim found this at a park in Mt. Holly, NC, and wonders what exactly went on at the last men's softball game . . . He also pointed out that it seems as if women's, children's, and co-ed teams may still play.

Like I said, there's gotta be a story!

and if they do, will you even care [?]

Maresi, who took this picture, commented that "the lack of punctuation really drives this one home." I tend to agree . . .


maybe somebody will, maybe they won't. apparently, the question is so unimportant that it's not even worth adding the question mark.

some of us might not see that as a BAD thing

It's been so long since I've been, um, violated . . . and as I recall, the last guy was kind of a dog himself, so what would I really have to lose?!

Thanks to Anne G, who found this "special offer" in Provo, Utah!

Looks like it's already too late

Sikiu P. (no pun intended!) brought home this souvenir photo from Venezuela--

" It translates DO NOT URINATE HERE. It is a residential side door without windows around so guys might stop by to take a piss after going to the local bar. I think locals were careless, because that door stunk."

Never mind that . . . I don't need to get a whiff of it to know that we've got a problem here--a very TALL problem. Either that, or we've got some drunken men with quite an impressive aim!

from dog's WHAT?!

Okay, this obviously belongs here, but it's too good to pass up.

All I can think of when I see this is, "Soylent Green is PEOPLE!"

A belated "thanks" to Michaela S!

I hate it when I'm mosquioted--

Another gem from Clarissa, who apparently lives in the Land of No Spell Check. I wish I could come up with a witty comeback for this one, but I'm fresh out tonight . . .

no fishing for humans!

You may fish in this water, but you may not fish for swimming humans. Not even catch and release.

Wonder if they've been to this place?

Thanks to Andrew K, who shot this in Bermuda!

Shakae, anyone?

David M says of this sign he found in Selbyville, DE. "Classic or not, I don't think I want to try one!"

but sorry, no bedbugs

Ken Wolf found this gem in Oklahoma in 2006. As if the "all things to all people" marketing campaign wasn't bad enough, I'm thinking there may be room out there in the blogosphere soon for a "backwards Q" blog . . .



And why, oh why does this hand-lettered sign have an "M" that looks like the upside-down "w" you use when you run out of the correct letter?

stay in school, kids! (a "clasic" sign)

Adrian B spotted this sign in an Abercrombie (kids) store . . . Adrian says, "I hope somebody got fired. At approximately 8 or 10 signs per store, and 300 kids stores nationwide, that's a lot of incorrect spellings!"


ah, yes. but it's so much more fun for us!

Whatever you do, just don't dive . . .

Thanks to catflowr in Long Beach, California for this one!

For the "things women will never understand" file . . .

Eric H. took this picture in Huangshan, China.

what would you do at this intersection?

Take a look, and see what interpretation you come up with.
Can you, or can't you make a U-turn?



Then go here (read the second paragraph below the picture, dated August 26th) and see if your explanation matches the one given by dadlak. He is from Baton Rouge, Louisiana, which really surprised me, because with road signage like this, I was just sure he had to be in Michigan . . .

only the finest ingredients . . .

go into a "ho" made hot dog. And such a bargain!



Laurie and Shea in Greenville, SC, THANK YOU! This picture totally made my weekend!

(yeah, I know, I should probably think about getting a life. but seriously, now. This is really funny.)

post-script: Here's the store where Laurie and Shea found these . . . as you can see, I chose to let that picture be posted in its proper home . . .

I just cant stand it when this happens!

Ah, yes. I very often find myself with 5 Orcs but no Trolls.







Thanks to Alissa, and thanks in advance to anybody who can interpret this for those of us outside of the nerdosphere, oops, I mean the, um, war band.

Not a sign . . . but still VERY curious . . .

This is an actual e-mail auto-reply that a co-worker of mine received. If this isn't straight out of Dilbert, I don't know what is . . .

I want to just flood this person's inbox with items that I need assistance with AFTER her year is up. And the "Thanks. Have a great day." (with its obvious lack of enthusiasm!) is especially priceless.

Subject: Out of Office AutoReply

Thank you for your message. As of October 12, 2007 I will be on maternity leave for one year. If you need assistance before then, please resend your message to _______. Thanks. Have a great day.
____________________________________________________________

(ps--this comes from a Canadian co-worker--do folks in Canada really get a flippin' YEAR of maternity leave?!)

Why you shouldn't shop at Aldi

This picture reminds me of shopping at Aldi or Save-A-Lot, where you see a product and think it's a major brand, but it turns out to be some kind of bizarro world equivalent.

Yes, you can buy "RAUG" for $$1.99, but if you want the real thing, it's going to cost you more than that!

(crazy prices, btw--but maybe I'm spoiled being in the midwest, where Ragu (not Raug!) sells for 99 cents when it's on sale. prices like that are a big part of the reason why I don't shop at Aldi!)

Thanks to Clarissa yet again!

A*X*IAL . . . it says AXIAL decompression

but tell me that you wouldnt' have done a double-take upon seeing this? especially going past it at 40 miles per hour?

This one's mine--spotted in Grand Rapids, MI

because you just can't have it all . . .

Linda W. from McAlester, Oklahoma sent in this gem. I'll leave it to the grammar buffs to decipher whether this is a math problem (Price minus quality minus service equals Choose any two?) or just a poor use of hyphenation . . . but I think this is a new favorite . . . it's just so wrong on so many levels . . . it's brilliant! Thanks, Linda!

RE(ally) GRAND?

Susan found this sign in Gig Harbor, WA. As she says, "I guess it wasn't grand enough the first time!"

It does beg the question, though . . . how is a "re-grand" opening different than a grand "re"-opening?

(I'll stop now before the quotation mark police come after me . . . :-) )

Run, Forrest, Run!

Thanks again to Clarissa!

also, all discounts come with a free copy of "Spelling for Dummies"

Thanks, Clarissa M!!!!!

the gas station strikes again

Rachel came across this gem in Columbus, Ohio (I think it's the same gas station chain as the previous entry . . . hmm), and wondered, "How much for the OLD corn dogs?"


(Thanks, Rachel!)

From one of my blogging heroines

Miss Heather is the best. And I thought her sign fit right in here . . .

anything else inside that stuffed biscuit?

You'll just have to take a bite and find out! ("Gal Gas" is less funny, but there's an idea also)

amazing, indeed!!!

sadly, the truth is far less amusing . . . but those of you from NYC already knew that . . .